5 Loaves & 2 Fishes

At one time, I thought one of the most stressful jobs on earth could be that
of air controller. Now, I think the most frustrating job must be that of
anyone manning a computer help desk. Here are excerpts of actual
conversations.....


Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just
doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support : OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player
and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

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Tech support : What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer : Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.

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Tech support : What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, capital letter "V" as in Victor, the number "7"......
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support : Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

My all-time favorite is the person who tried to put a 5-1/4" floppy disk in a 3-1/2" floppy drive ... by folding it in half ...